Activism: A new word for bullying...

Anyone who is a member of a parenting board has seen it. That thread. A mom asking about circumcision, a story about a mom being kicked out of a restaurant for breastfeeding, the whole Pampers debacle, the formula recalls. It brings out the WORST in people. I recently read an article on some site about a mother who lost her child-apparently the boy had a heart defect, and the doctors at some point told the mother "if you want to circumcise, you can now" so she did. And her son died. This is a sad sad story, and I would have expected other moms to feel her pain. No one wants to lose their child, the thought alone terrifies me. My heart really goes out to anyone who would ever have to deal with such a painful experience.

Apparently other mom's don't share my sentiment. If you have ever read articles such as this, it is usually best to stop before you see the comments. People get downright nasty. Someone said they felt no pity for this mom who lost her child, because she chose to circumcise, and it is mutilation etc etc. I am all for making informed decisions regarding our children. I encourage people to research everything before making a decision. Heck, I check about 5 sites before I purchase anything that plugs in-gotta make sure it has good reviews. How I approach parenting is no different, maybe even moreso. But what I will never ever understand is how activists can attack another parent for making a different decision. This mom LOST HER BABY and all you can say is "serves her right for mutilating him" Are you kidding me?

And it is not always such serious subjects. Sometimes formula is referred to as "poison" or "inferior". While there are many studies showing that breastfeeding is a better choice, why do you insist on using the term inferior. This is something most people have heard, this is heavily researched, but what about the mom that had to go on some medication for a serious medical condition and couldn't breastfeed anymore? Or the one, like my friend, that tried and tried everything, took every supplement known to help with BFing and STILL couldn't get enough milk? Does it make you feel good that you are making them feel bad about something so out of their control? And for the record, formula is not poison-there are tons of people (myself included) that were fed formula and didn't die. That is what poison is-deadly. Formula may not be proven to reduce risks of cancers like breastmilk is shown to do, but it will not literally kill an infant that drinks it. People say that if you look at obesity rates and diabetes and cancer rates, they have gone up-so you should breastfeed because apparently formula causes these things. No, the poor diet, the processed food, the fast food, the chemicals used in our foods, the food we feed livestock, the antibiotics given to the livestock-all of these are in no way helping our obesity rates or cancer or other health issues that are on the rise. Formula is not the cause of these things, and I have yet to see a study showing formula itself is the cause of anything. It may not contribute to a reduction in anything either, but it doesn't CAUSE anything bad. Stop acting like you are better than a mom who formula feeds, stop putting her down because of that choice. It is HER CHOICE to do with her children as she pleases.

It seems like everytime you turn around, someone is advocating something. A mom asks about what kind of disposable diapers to buy, and someone says "use cloth!" Someone asks about "CIO"-which for those of you that are not  message board saavy-is crying it out, and someone jumps all over it "that harms their brains!" Someone looks for information about co sleeping and is told it is dangerous and their baby could die. For whatever decision you make, no matter how researched or not researched it is, there is someone out there that chose the opposite and is ready to jump down your throat for it. And they hide behind their "research" and use that as an excuse to say their hurtful things. They 'know' more about it than you, you are clearly ill informed if you didnt choose the same thing that they did.

Do not all mom's have the same goals? To raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids that someday turn into very well adjusted and happy adults? I am all for researching, asking questions and educating others that ask questions, but there is a huge difference between "here are some links on that" and blatant, hurtful attacks. Live and let live, parent and let parent, feed and let feed. No one is looking to be put down, no one wants to be told they are a bad parent. They are simply looking for info, support and some advice.